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Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
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3:47 am - ive found a way to wear a thousand different faces
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so much has changed it seems nothing ever changes
current mood:  high
current music: the lawrence arms
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| Monday, May 15th, 2006
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12:53 am
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While i sit alone in this room i've got crates full of sorrow even more filled with shadows that i fish out and ridicule when i'm feeling lonely. I'm lacking sense, but bound in a very specific direction it's phenomenal and unprecedented it's a chip of the old block and a step up the new ladder. Mr.Scribe, i write to you pen and penchant aimed to pour over a fool left with no more rhymes i'm poetically franchised. I'm in charge for the day in terminal wanderlust i've excited my worst thoughts exorcised what was lost am i a bad seed sprouting up or am i not? I'm not sure what sad is but listless i'm not my lists are never ending and my emotions aren't store-bought and tears, they either deceive or endear me i'm your little golden nugget collecting dust bored with my own stale and directed thoughts in a place where so much life and loves abound it's a amazing how little tempts me from my glass house
current mood:  pessimistic
current music: descendents
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| Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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10:42 pm - still hoping i might find the....
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destroy your faith. destroy your lungs. "im so speachless burned out today that im faceless, an sometimes it feels like i dont even exist in this place."
i want to get away. anywhere but here. i seem to lose everything that i ever gave a shit about. some things i cant forget about.
shut your mouth and open your eyes
open your mind and when youre sick of tryin, come smoke a blunt with me and we'll empathize about the shitty world around us.
when youre just sick an tired of tryin, just kill me. when my words stop inspiring, tear me up and stuff me down the drain.
i dont want to make sense, i just want to sit back and watch it burn
hell is where you make it.
current mood:  tired
current music: a radio with guts
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| Monday, July 25th, 2005
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8:38 pm - another wasted day, a day i wont get back.
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made about 200$ cash today, not including my hourly wage. construction is the shit if youre willing to bust your ass. its nice to be able to buy nice things, suprised that im not use to it? eh fuck you lol
6 more drinks until i drown
been hittin up the beach as much as possible, gotta get my skim on. fun shit
bottoms up and spirits down
got my puppy back today. fuckin yay. he's doin fine.
much love
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| Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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1:13 am
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is your mind being controlled? are you a product of someone elses sick plan?
are you a consumer, or are you being consumed?
im not reasoning with the unreasonable, im not trying to fight the inevitable, and im not succombing to what i can overcome.
do you have any positive influence in your life? Are you the negative influence in someone elses?
will you die alone? will you live to wait and see?
sometimes it feels like ya know everything. sometimes being stubborn gets the best of you, and brings out the worst. sometimes id rather spend the day locked in my room alone, then waste it talking about the same stupid problems.
whipe the slate clean, and start again
welcome to the rest of your miserable life, each day spent craving what will eventually be your demise. feed your flames fire, an dont cry to me when it burns.
current mood:  blah
current music: mustard plug - you!
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| Saturday, June 11th, 2005
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9:49 pm
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if you've ever question beliefs that you hold you're not alone but you oughtta realize that every myth is a metaphor in the case of christianity and judaism there exist the belief that spiritual matters are enslaved to history the buddhists believe that the functional aspects override the myth while other religions use the literal core to build foundations with see half the world sees the myth as fact while it's seen as a lie by the other half and the simple truth is that it's none of that and somehow no matter what the world keeps turning somehow we get by without ever learning science and religion are not mutually exclusive in fact for better understanding we take the facts of science and apply them and if both factors keep evolving then we continue getting information but closing off possibilities makes it hard to see the bigger picture consider the case of the women whose faith helped her make it through when she was raped and cut up left for dead in a trunk her beliefs held true it doesn't matter if it's real or not cause some things are better left without a doubt and if it works then it gets the job done somehow no matter what the world keeps turning
current mood:  amused
current music: screeching weasel - the science of myth
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| Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
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3:19 am
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raising your voice never further proved a point, just made your arguement proven to be weaker, by your own insecurity, expressing it loudly in fear of being proved wrong. that being said, these last few months have been anything but hectic, and id like to keep it that way. however, good things never do last. ive made good friends with the bottle, and ive given up hope in humanity. i still got some great friends, an some i dont get to see near as much as id like to, but ive been staying happy as i can at all costs. depression takes its toll on everyone, and i fight it to the grave. everyones got their problems, and ive lost my apathy. it seems the worlds motivation to piss me off has finally started to die, im no longer mad at every pathetic soul i come across, because i look at the world a lot different then i use to.
we're all fucked up and deathbound. soon enough we'll all be gone, and the bullshit problems everyone stresses over daily will be as dead as i am inside. i cant wait.
We still have hope that the world is going to change
And all the violence will somehow fade away
And I'm gonna bet that tomorrow is just like the rest
So here it goes once again, we are put to the test
Turn on the news, lighting the fuse
Watching the world just burn
We still have hope that the world will be a better place
Never to be judged by the color of your face
We know that you've heard this a thousand times before
But this is a struggle we can't ignore
Turn on the news, lighting the fuse
Watching the world just burn
I'm gonna sit and watch it burn
current mood:  awake
current music: vision - lighting the fuse
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| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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4:43 pm
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that is all
current music: if you know who he is, you know
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| Saturday, March 19th, 2005
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2:21 am - killing you all leaving noone behind
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yeah, homelife is a drag, deadly like a plague
if sadness lurks within yer walls, as it does in mine
where i am confined to my room to hide
from all of the bullshit i've gotta deal with from them
and they don't give in, until i am cryin'
my eyes out over this shit, and then i scream out
homelife is a drag, deadly like a plague
gotta get outta here before i loose my mind
yeah, homelife is a drag, deadly like a plague
when everything i do is wrong, and its all my fault
and they dont understand, me or who i am
they'll never except that this is all who i am
and all i can do is never enough
i wish that for once they'd just fucking lay off
homelife is a drag, deadly like a plague
abandon all hope, and watch my dreams fade away
with all this shits stacked, like weights on my back
with no one to help me, soon i will collapse
my family hates me, i fucking hate them
goddammit, will this homelife shit ever end?!
yeah, homelife is a drag, deadly like a plague
if you live with anger and hate, just like here
where i live in fear of losing my mind
and killing you all, leaving no one behind
trapped inside these walls, with no where to go
and nothing to do, i am bored and depressed
patients put to the test, dagger at my chest
i carve into my arm to relieve the stress
homelife is a drag, deadly like a plague
gotta get outta here before i loose my mind
my family hates me, i fuckin hate them
goddammit, will this homelife shit ever end?!
now, shows over come home, and i'm all alone
with no one to talk to and no pot to smoke
homelife, is a drag, deadly like a plague
i'll walk out the front door, and never look back
current mood: violent
current music: no ca$h
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| Friday, March 11th, 2005
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6:23 pm - my poem for english
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the fire has formed and its getting too big.
his knife is sharpening and his grave starts to dig.
Each days noise keeps the man insane.
the pollution on tv is rotting out his brain.
each persons the same, and life isnt different
just scenery changes, but stays in the limits.
Staring out his window he longs for more
he aims towards his face. and evens the score.
conform to this bullet he yells with contest
and give back the life of a world with nothing left
current mood:  drunk
current music: alk
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| Saturday, January 29th, 2005
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10:29 pm
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ya ya ya!
heres to life!
as the world slowly comes to an end my days come flying by with a smile. im high. im happy. lifes good. nothing better then the lack of bullshit i come across each day... and im living life to the fullest.
keep it real, son.
current mood:  happy
current music: planet smashers
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| Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
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1:39 am - on an on an on again. how could i be so blind.
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well this new years resolution is to finally get a decent nights sleep.
maybe write something worth reading. or make a positive impact on someones life besides my own.
hope this year will be better then the last.
current mood: drunk
current music: planet smashers
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| Saturday, December 25th, 2004
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3:41 pm - merry fuckin christmas everyone
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Wake up, coughing, tired, with my face in my hands,
staring at the window as the sunlight demands action.
All the energy it takes to close these bedroom blinds.
Wrote this selfish sadness on a bathroom wall,
spent half the span of some lost culture's rise and fall,
but I'm as clueless as a drooling four year old.
Still hoping I might find the capacity to let you know I know you're lonely.
So here's the last call for regrets,
a final slow dance through the days that we all hold on to.
Here's the promises I've made, tied too tight to undo.
An unwrapped gift from me to you.
All the slightly insane on the 18 North Main,
reaching for a small-town downtown, night rain,
nothing I could say could be worth saying anyway today.
Like "Hey, whatever happened to what's that guys' name?",
we get a little older and it looks the same: askance.
Excuse my failing sense of humour.
Here's the promises I've made; a razor blade and this broken piece of chain.
A history left to rust out in the rain
hope you guys got what you wanted, i got a new computer so im happy.
current mood: happy
current music: propaghandi - gifts
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| Sunday, December 12th, 2004
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11:38 am
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this weekend was a lot crazier then some peoples entires life stories. im not stable. cant wait to get over this feeling.
skank away!
current mood: jaded
current music: tupac
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| Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
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11:33 pm
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random words for thought
"So we've getting a bunch of emails from Americans asking how to go about moving to Canada since the U.S. election last week. I can sympathize, but all i can say to y'all is please stay where you are: if you have a progressive voice, you got to stay down there and get to work to make sure that "your" government stops steamrolling the rest of the world (not to mention your fellow citizens). If you think it's bad now, imagine how bad it would be without anyone left to put any pressure on the psychos in power. Give it some consideration, at least. "
halo 2 + weed =
current mood: good
current music: propaghandi
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| Sunday, November 28th, 2004
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2:13 am
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so we decided to continue the thanksgiving weekend partying at my house tonight with some beer, all was going well till my parents decided to come home early unexpectedly. Luckily i took the neccisary precautions, otherwise they woulda came home to beer everywhere. i dunno i had a funny feeling, and it saved my ass, i love when that happens. tommorow i gotta do a research report, fuckin yay. for now im gunna finish my last bowl and smoke my cares away again.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: reel big fish - down in flames.
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| Friday, November 26th, 2004
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1:57 pm
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party at my place last night was fun, lack of girls, abundance of drugs, fair trade. but coulda been better, coulda been way worse tho, i had fun as did most others. thanks giving is better spent drunk i concluded. now im going to go smoke. crs. and tonight lets party all over again!
current mood: happy
current music: less than jake!
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| Thursday, November 25th, 2004
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2:45 pm - lifes to short to make others' shorter
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the broadways and i seem to see very eye to eye
third graders holding hands indians
and pilgrims celebrating new found lands
they tried to teach me that at school
make the white race look superior it's always been their rule
now i can't believe we celebrate thanksgiving as a holiday of unity and peace
if i had my way, we'd all dress in black
and daddy would serve up the white meat
cuz genocide is nothing to celebrate, extinction doesn't deserve a parade
and we perpetuate these lies witht he turkeys that we buy
i tried explaining to my mom but she's too afraid to admit to herself
that her race is a killing machine
take a look around your town and who do you see?
the native american is surprisingly absent in his own indigenous land
do you want to know why? it's cuz we killed them all
it's not that hard to understand, yeah
so i go to college and you know what i learned?
that 80 million people were killed by my grandpa,
your grandpa and all of their friends
they bleached out our continent but that's not the end
the last full blooded aborigine died a century ago
if it's possible there's a place in the southern hemisphere
with a history even worse than our home
no one finds it peculiar
that a tropical island is full of people just like you and me
but astralia's a piece of shit floating in the pacific
buoyed by the blood of the aborigine.
buoyed by the blood of the aborigine.
current music: the broadways - everything i wanted to know about genocide
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| Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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9:44 pm
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the things i do when im bored =O
current mood:  content
current music: the broadways - 25 degrees north
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| Monday, November 15th, 2004
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7:59 pm
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life goes by so fast
you only wanna do what you think is right
close my eyes and its past
story of my life
this weekend was pretty fun, lots of pot smoked. good times came and went, sometimes i wish the goodtimes would last a little longer but its ok, cause theres plenty to anticipate this week. bein jaded in the crazy life is a bad bad thing, and being stoned in a sober world is the edge i need to keep me sane. and on that note, im going to go smoke 1, =)
heres to life
~
current mood: high
current music: social distortion - story of my life
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